Some form of marriage has been found to exist in all human societies, past and present. Its significance can be seen in the ornate and intricate laws and rituals surrounding it. Although these laws and rituals are as varied and abundant as human social and cultural organizations, some universals do apply.
The central legal function of marriage is to ensure the rights of the partners with respect to each other and to ensure the rights and define the relationships of children within a community. Marriage has empirically conferred a legal status on the offspring, which entitled him or her to the various privileges confirmed by the society of that community, including the right of inheritance. In most societies marriage also established the permissible social interaction allowed to the offspring, including the sufficient selection of future spouses.
Until the late 20th century, marriage was rarely a matter of free choice. In Western societies love between spouses came to be associated with marriage, but even in Western society (as the novels of writers such as Henry James and Edith Wharton attest) romantic love was not the capital basis for matrimony in most eras, and one’s marriage partner was carefully considered.
Endogamy, the practice of marrying someone from within one’s own tribe or group, is the oldest social regulation of marriage. When the methods of communication with outside groups are restrictive, endogamous marriage is a natural consequence. Cultural pressures to partner within one’s social, economic, and ethnic group are still very strongly regulated in some societies.
Exogamy, the customof marrying outside the group, is prevalent in societies in which kinship partnerships are the most complex, thus excluding from marriage large groups who may trace their lineage to a common ancestry.
In societies in which the large, or extended, family structure remains the basic unit, marriages are usually arranged by the family. The assumption is that love between the partners comes after marriage, and much thought is given to the socioeconomic advantages given to the larger family from the match. By contrast, in societies in which the small, or nuclear, family predominates, young adults usually choose their own mates. It is assumed that love precedes (and determines) marriage, and less thought is normally given to the socioeconomic aspects of the match.
In societies with arranged marriages, the overwhelming custom is that someone acts as an intermediary, or matchmaker. This person’s capitalresponsibility is to arrange a marriage that will be satisfactory to the two families represented. Usually a form of dowry or bridewealth is almost always exchanged in societies that favour arranged marriages.
In societies in which individuals choose their own mates, dating is the usual way for people to meet and become acquainted with prospective partners. Successful dating may result in courtship, which then usually leads to marriage.
Marriage rituals
The rituals and ceremonies for marriage in the majority of cultures are associated primarily with productivity and confirm the importance of marriage for the continuation of a clan, people, or society. They also assert a familial or communal sanction of the mutual decision and sympathy of the difficulties and sacrifices involved in making what is considered, in most cases, to be a lifelong commitment to and responsibility for the welfare of spouse and children.
Marriage ceremonies include symbolic rites, often sanctified by a religious order, which are thought to confer good fortune on the couple. Because economic considerations play an essential role in the happiness of child rearing, the offering of gifts, both real and symbolic, to the married couple are a meaningful part of the marriage ritual. Where the presentation of goods is extensive, either from the bride’s family to the bridegroom’s or vice versa, this usually indicates that the freedom to choose one’s marital partner has been restricted and policed by the families of the betrothed.
Fertility rites intended to ensure a fruitful marriage exist in some form in all ceremonies. Some of the oldest rituals still to exist in contemporary ceremonies include the conspicuous display of fruits or of cereal grains that are sprinkled over the couple or on their nuptial bed, the accompaniment of a small child with the bride, and the breaking of an object or food to ensure a successful consummation of the marriage and an easy childbirth.
The most universal ritual is one that symbolizes a sacred union. This may be asserted by the joining of hands, an exchange of rings or chains, or the tying of garments. However, all the elements in marriage rituals vary greatly among different societies, and components such as time, place, and the social importance of the event are fixed by tradition and habit.
These rituals are, to a certain extent, shaped by the religious beliefs and practices found in societies throughout the world. In the Hindu tradition, for example, weddings are highly elaborate affairs, involving many prescribed rituals. Marriages are generally arranged by the parents of the couple, and the date of the ceremony is determined by careful astrological calculations. Among most Buddhists marriage remains primarily a secular affair, even though the Buddha offered guidelines for the responsibilities of lay householders.
In Judaism marriage is believed to have been established by God and is described as making the individual complete. Marriage involves a double ceremony, which includes the formal betrothal and wedding rites (prior to the 12th century the two were separated by as much as one year). The modern ceremony begins with the groom signing the marriage contract in front of a group of witnesses. He is then led to the bride’s room, where he lays a veil on her. This is followed by the ceremony under the huppa (a canopy that symbolizes the bridal bower), which involves the reading of the marriage contract, the seven marriage benedictions, the groom’s placing a ring on the bride’s finger (in Conservative and Reform traditions the double ring ceremony has been introduced), and, in most communities, the crushing of a glass under foot. After the ceremony the couple is led into a private room for seclusion, which symbolizes the consummation of the marriage.
From its origins, Christianity has emphasized the spiritual nature and indissolubility of marriage. Jesus Christ spoke of marriage as instituted by God, and most Christians consider it a permanent union based upon mutual consent. Some Christian churches consider marriage as one of the sacraments, and other Christians confirm the sanctity of marriage but do not consider it as a sacrament. Since the Middle Ages, Christian weddings have taken place before a priest or minister, and the ceremony involves the exchange of vows, readings from Scripture, a blessing, and, sometimes, the eucharistic rite.
In Islam marriage is not strictly a sacrament but is always considered as a gift from God or a kind of service to God. The basic Islamic tenets concerning marriage are explained in the Qur’an, which states that the marital bond rests on “mutual love and mercy,” and that spouses are “each other’s garments.” Muslim men may have up to four wives at one time (though they seldom do), but the wives must all be treated equitably. Marriages are traditionally contracted by the father or guardian of the bride and her intended husband, who must offer his bride the mahr, a payment offered as a gift to guarantee her financial independence.
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