Relationship and Marriage counseling can help you find out how suitable you are.

The two most crucial factors that determine how similar you are as a couple are:

A similar degree of psychological vitality and maturity and a compatible ranking of Instinctual Variants.

What are Instinctual Variants?
The 3 Instincts represent the natural energy or drives that are inherently part of us as humans. Our actions are highly engaged with and is often dependent on these libidinal, instinctual energies to give it its spark.

Self Preservation Instinct.
People of this Instinctual type are preoccupied with the essential existential needs as they translate into our contemporary society, for example, money, food, accomodation, health, physical safety and comfort.
Being safe and physically comfortable are essential, and they will tend to bring their supplies with them.
When entering a room, they will tend to notice bad lighting, uncomfortable seating, the room temperature, when the coffee break will be, and whether they will like the food provided. They tend also to be the most practical in the sense of taking care of important necessities of life.
They are the most introverted of the types.

Sexual/ Intimate Instinct.
People of this kind have a strong desire for intensity of experience and intimacy. The honest riveting gaze is the dead giveaway. When they enter a situation they gravitate toward people they feel attracted to, as if they are looking for the juice. These people can be intimacy junkies, often neglecting pressing matters or even basic maintenance if they are swept up in something that has captured them. This gives a wide ranging exploratory approach to life, but can also generate a lack of focus of one’s own priorities.

Social Instinct.
People of this variation are focused on their interactions with other people and with the sense of value and esteem they derive from their involvement in collective activities. These include work, relationships, hobbies and clubs.
On entering a room, these people would immediately be aware of the relationships and subtle politics between the different people and social circles. They are subconsciously focused on other people’s reaction to them, particularly about whether they are being accepted or not.
They need to connect with others to feel secure, alive and energised. They seem to enjoy interacting with people, but they avoid intimacy.
They are the most extroverted of the types.

Within a personality, one of these three Instincts will predominate. In fact the three variants can be ranked liked the sections of a cake, with the most predominant one at the top. The least powerful one, at the bottom, is termed the blind spot.
These inherent instincts play an essential role in our relationships because people of the same variant tend to share values and to understand each other completely, and therefore feel very compatible.

In relationships between 2 different Instinctual types, each will struggle to convert the other.

For further information on discovering whether you and your partner are compatible, contact the Hart Centre Australia. We are Australia’s premier relationship and marriage counselling service with 53 locations Australia wide, and 8 relationship counselling centres in Brisbane, 3 marriage counselling centres in the Gold Coast, and 2 relationship counselling locations on the Sunshine Coast. Phone 1300 830 552 for appointments at all centres.

For relationship counselling Brisbane, marriage counselling gold coast and marriage counselling sunshine coast, contact your local Hart Centre.