Relationship and Marriage counseling can help you find out how in harmony you are.
The two most important factors that decide how compatible you are as a couple are:
A similar degree of psychological vitality and maturity and a compatible ranking of Instinctual Variants.
What are Instinctual Variants?
The 3 Instincts represent the inherant energies or drive that are innately part of us as humans. Our personality is highly engaged with and often dependent on these libidinal, instinctual energies to give it its spark.
Self Preservation Instinct.
People of this Instinctual variant are often with the essential existential needs as they translate into our modern society, for example, money, food, accomodation, health, safety and comfort.
Being safe and physically comfortable are priorities, and they will often bring these supplies with them.
When entering a room, they will tend to notice lighting, uncomfortable chairs, the room temperature, when the coffee break will be, and whether they will enjoy the food provided. They tend also to be the most practical in the sense of taking care of basic life necessities.
They are the most introverted of the types.
Sexual/ Intimate Instinct.
People of this type have a strong desire for severity of experience and intimacy. The blunt riveting gaze is the dead giveaway. When they enter a situation they automatically gravitate toward people they feel magnetized to, as if they are looking for the juice. These people can be intimacy junkies, often ignoring pressing obligations or even basic hygiene if they are infatuated with something that has captured them. This gives a wide ranging exploratory philosophy to life, but can also generate a lack of focus on one’s own priorities.
Social Instinct.
People of this type are focused on their interactions with other people and with the sense of value and self esteem they derive from their participation in collective activities. These include occupation, relationships, side activities and clubs.
Upon entering a room, these people would immediately be aware of the power structures and subtle politics between different people and groups. They are subconsciously focused on other people’s reaction to them, particularly about whether they are being accepted or not.
They need to touch base with others to feel secure, alive and energised. They tend to enjoy interacting with others, but they eschew intimacy.
They are the most extroverted of the types.
Within a person, one of these Instincts will predominate. In fact the three traits can be ranked like the sections of a cake, with the most dominant one at the top. The least powerful one, at the bottom, is termed the blind spot.
These inherent instincts play an essential role in our relationships because people of the same type tend to share values to understand each other completely, and therefore feel very compatible.
In relationships between 2 different Instinctual types, each will struggle to convert the other.
For further information on discovering whether you and your partner are compatible, contact the Hart Centre Australia. We are Australia’s premier relationship and marriage counselling service with 53 locations Australia wide, and 8 relationship counselling centres in Brisbane, 3 marriage counselling centres in the Gold Coast, and 2 relationship counselling locations on the Sunshine Coast. Phone 1300 830 552 for appointments at all centres.
For relationship counselling Brisbane, marriage counselling gold coast and marriage counselling sunshine coast, contact your local Hart Centre.